So I have been one busy girl here lately. I officially have a new job. I have finished signing all my paperwork for school. Plus dealing with the everyday drama of my life it has been very stressful. I started my week off with a call for a job interview at ProLex Medical doing home health stuff. I went for the interview and was so nervous that my voice was shaking and didn't answer one of her questions quite like I wanted to. She said that she would send my application over to the regular client side and see if they had any openings. I doubt I'll get a call back on that one. lol Then the next day I got another call from Parkside Nursing Home. This place is through my hospital that I work at so all I have to do is orientate and I'm done. No paper work or waiting or anything. Plus I get to keep my hours on my regular floor during the week since these hours are only on the weekend. If I work a full week I'll be getting almost 60 hours and I get a dollar raise for working the weekend. I'm so excited I can't wait. I will never have to worry about money and just knowing that I can't put into words. I want to provide for Christian without having to plan out what he can get week by week. I'm officially independent. :)
As for school I decided to go to Miller-Motte Technical College. They have a campus close to me and they have a dental assisting program that is quick and I'm not wasting time going through core classes that I don't need. It's pretty expensive, but all the equipment is new and they are a career based school. So they help you find a job after you graduate. I'm really excited to get a new start on something that I've wanted to do for a long time. Since I've had Christian everyone has expected me to not go to school, but I'm finally proving them wrong. I just needed to get off my butt and actually take the step to do it. So in 18 months I will be a dental assistant and could possibly go on to get something further. I couldn't be happier to get my life in order and start making major decisions for mine and Christian's future. I want him to be proud of me and be able to say that even though I was a single mom he always got what he wanted and was proud of me for what I had to do to get there. I finally feel on track with my life and I couldn't be happier around the Holiday Season. :)
Monday, November 14, 2011
Saturday, October 29, 2011
I Can Tell It's Christmas Time
So I can officially tell its Christmas time. People have gotten rude and stressed. I have Christian's presents in layaway at Walmart. (Which I will never do again!) Kmart was so much easier last year and you can actually put everything in there. Plus Kmart gives you the dates of when your payment is due by every couple of weeks. I like having it planned out instead of just paying whenever. Idk if its me being lazy and having them do the planning for me or what but it was not as stressful as it is now. I got him everything I wanted and I can't wait for him to open them up and start playing. The only thing I didn't get that I'm looking into now is a VTech toy. But its expensive and you still have to buy the software for it. So idk if he will be getting that this year. I'm just glad everything else is taken care of except for my family. I have planned what I'm getting them just haven't gotten it yet.
Things with my life however are a different story. I figured out what I wanted to do for school, but with the holidays I have to figure out if I want to get a second job or start school. With this decision I am completely lost. If I go to school I would just go for a certificate program which is three semesters. I could be done in a year. Also I could get money back from going to school. But with a job I get the same thing just not a better education. I honestly can't decide what I want to do more. I'm completely lost. ugh!!!!!!! I've also decided that I'm going to start buckling down and trying to save money every way possible. I started couponing but kinda drifted away from it. Now I'm going to go crazy about it and see what I can do. I've been going to consignment sales and thrift shops buying our winter clothes and whatever objects we need that I can find. I love buying name brand high dollar clothes for literally a dollar! I'd much rather buy that and just have to wash it then paying full price!
My Stills disease hasn't made things easier either. I went back to the doctor at the beginning of the month and he added yet another medicine. With my Prednizone I now take Methotrexate. He had to add a folic acid pill with this because the Metho can give you mouth irritation. The side effects of this new medicine are really giving me a strain. Considering that its used for chemotherapy patients should say something. The worst side effect is that I'm loosing my hair like crazy! I literally shed like no other. It's not like I don't have the hair to loose, but I gets everywhere. All I have to do is run my fingers through my hair and a chunk comes out. Hopefully I'll be in remission by the time I'll go bald. lol
The love life hasn't been any better either. I have dated some guys, but they all want one thing or are absolutely crazy! I never realized men are so insecure about being alone. I've tried this dating website and those men are all perverts looking for someone to chat about sex. I'm def not into that nor do I have the time. I'm so independent that I'm not looking for money or someone that will take care of me and Christian completely. I just want the companionship and someone to come home to every night and wake up every morning. I'm so tired of fixing people and dating jerks. It's just annoying. I'm satisfied being alone with Christian instead of dealing with a male and their drama. (Which is just as bad as a woman!)
Christian on the other hand is growing and learning more then ever. He's gotten so independent it makes me sad. His new word is "sorry". He says it so pitiful that it just breaks my heart. He's speaking in full sentences and barely lets me help him with anything. He likes to grab my hand and take me to what he wants. Especially when it comes to food. With Halloween being on Monday we still need to practice what to say. He doesn't really understand the whole concept of getting candy and stuff. I just hope he says his country moo when people ask what he is. (He's going to be a cow btw) For some reason he has started his "wanting to be a baby again stage" He likes sitting with me and cuddling more then ever. He has been sleeping with me more then in his own bed and if I put him back he just gets up an hour later and comes in with me. I thought it was because he was cold, so I started turning our heater on. Of course that doesn't change anything. His nose has been running and starting to get congested so I thought that was it and gave him some Benadryl. That wasn't it either. So the mystery still remains.
Even though I have every aspect of my life kinda crazy and stressful right now, I'm never short to remember my blessings this time of year. For some reason the holidays have always made me thankful for what I have compared to others. I wouldn't be anywhere I am today without my family and friends what have stuck by me through the roughest of times. Even little things like running water I am thankful for. I love the holidays for this reason and I can't wait for them to get here! :)
Things with my life however are a different story. I figured out what I wanted to do for school, but with the holidays I have to figure out if I want to get a second job or start school. With this decision I am completely lost. If I go to school I would just go for a certificate program which is three semesters. I could be done in a year. Also I could get money back from going to school. But with a job I get the same thing just not a better education. I honestly can't decide what I want to do more. I'm completely lost. ugh!!!!!!! I've also decided that I'm going to start buckling down and trying to save money every way possible. I started couponing but kinda drifted away from it. Now I'm going to go crazy about it and see what I can do. I've been going to consignment sales and thrift shops buying our winter clothes and whatever objects we need that I can find. I love buying name brand high dollar clothes for literally a dollar! I'd much rather buy that and just have to wash it then paying full price!
My Stills disease hasn't made things easier either. I went back to the doctor at the beginning of the month and he added yet another medicine. With my Prednizone I now take Methotrexate. He had to add a folic acid pill with this because the Metho can give you mouth irritation. The side effects of this new medicine are really giving me a strain. Considering that its used for chemotherapy patients should say something. The worst side effect is that I'm loosing my hair like crazy! I literally shed like no other. It's not like I don't have the hair to loose, but I gets everywhere. All I have to do is run my fingers through my hair and a chunk comes out. Hopefully I'll be in remission by the time I'll go bald. lol
The love life hasn't been any better either. I have dated some guys, but they all want one thing or are absolutely crazy! I never realized men are so insecure about being alone. I've tried this dating website and those men are all perverts looking for someone to chat about sex. I'm def not into that nor do I have the time. I'm so independent that I'm not looking for money or someone that will take care of me and Christian completely. I just want the companionship and someone to come home to every night and wake up every morning. I'm so tired of fixing people and dating jerks. It's just annoying. I'm satisfied being alone with Christian instead of dealing with a male and their drama. (Which is just as bad as a woman!)
Christian on the other hand is growing and learning more then ever. He's gotten so independent it makes me sad. His new word is "sorry". He says it so pitiful that it just breaks my heart. He's speaking in full sentences and barely lets me help him with anything. He likes to grab my hand and take me to what he wants. Especially when it comes to food. With Halloween being on Monday we still need to practice what to say. He doesn't really understand the whole concept of getting candy and stuff. I just hope he says his country moo when people ask what he is. (He's going to be a cow btw) For some reason he has started his "wanting to be a baby again stage" He likes sitting with me and cuddling more then ever. He has been sleeping with me more then in his own bed and if I put him back he just gets up an hour later and comes in with me. I thought it was because he was cold, so I started turning our heater on. Of course that doesn't change anything. His nose has been running and starting to get congested so I thought that was it and gave him some Benadryl. That wasn't it either. So the mystery still remains.
Even though I have every aspect of my life kinda crazy and stressful right now, I'm never short to remember my blessings this time of year. For some reason the holidays have always made me thankful for what I have compared to others. I wouldn't be anywhere I am today without my family and friends what have stuck by me through the roughest of times. Even little things like running water I am thankful for. I love the holidays for this reason and I can't wait for them to get here! :)
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Life is Crazy in General!
So here lately things have been getting a little crazy! I've been trying to find out stuff about school and seeing what I can do. Nothing good has really come up yet. I feel like they are all scamming or just trying to get people the information instead of actually helping. Idk its hard to explain. Online stuff like that has always made me uneasy because of how dirty people are today. So I guess I'll keep looking and see what comes along.
Work hasn't been going good at all. I haven't worked alot which means no money other then child support and what I have saved. So budgeting that has really got me stressed here lately for some reason. Going from a family to just me is hard to get used to even though its been almost a year. It's crazy to say that and think what I've over come. This past year has literally drug me through hell and back and now I can say I'm a completely different person. Idk what it is about being a single mom that makes me so empowered, but everytime I think about it I get this proud feeling. Yes I'm lonely and miss the partnership of having someone there. Then at the same time I'm perfectly content with being alone and doing my own thing. It's a bag of mixed emotions. I just don't want to be that mom that has a 15 year old son and still dating. I'd probably be the only single one in my group of friends.
I got Christian a potty and a toddler bed at the J&J consignment sale. The potty my grandmother got randomly without me knowing and it doesn't have the seat or shield. It's basically just the potty and the basin at the bottom. lol So I'm going to get him a brand new one that he can use. When I get him ready for a bath I ask him to sit on the potty and he starts to cry and get upset. So we will be waiting on that for a while. I'm not pushing him and making him not want to go. The toddler bed will be going up tonight and I'm dreading how it will end up. He likes the idea of a bed for himself and even says it "bed", but I dont think he realizes that he will be sleeping in it. Plus he is so squirmy during the night that it makes me nervous he will wiggle himself into the floor. So hopefully this weekend when he gets spongebob bedding he will be more comfortable and it won't go as badly as I'm thinking. We shall see!
Work hasn't been going good at all. I haven't worked alot which means no money other then child support and what I have saved. So budgeting that has really got me stressed here lately for some reason. Going from a family to just me is hard to get used to even though its been almost a year. It's crazy to say that and think what I've over come. This past year has literally drug me through hell and back and now I can say I'm a completely different person. Idk what it is about being a single mom that makes me so empowered, but everytime I think about it I get this proud feeling. Yes I'm lonely and miss the partnership of having someone there. Then at the same time I'm perfectly content with being alone and doing my own thing. It's a bag of mixed emotions. I just don't want to be that mom that has a 15 year old son and still dating. I'd probably be the only single one in my group of friends.
I got Christian a potty and a toddler bed at the J&J consignment sale. The potty my grandmother got randomly without me knowing and it doesn't have the seat or shield. It's basically just the potty and the basin at the bottom. lol So I'm going to get him a brand new one that he can use. When I get him ready for a bath I ask him to sit on the potty and he starts to cry and get upset. So we will be waiting on that for a while. I'm not pushing him and making him not want to go. The toddler bed will be going up tonight and I'm dreading how it will end up. He likes the idea of a bed for himself and even says it "bed", but I dont think he realizes that he will be sleeping in it. Plus he is so squirmy during the night that it makes me nervous he will wiggle himself into the floor. So hopefully this weekend when he gets spongebob bedding he will be more comfortable and it won't go as badly as I'm thinking. We shall see!
Monday, August 29, 2011
Slowly Waiting For Things to Come Together...
This week I am supposed to start work. I'm really stressing over money and I'm so tired of being stuck at home with nothing to do. The only good thing in my life right now is Christian. It's amazing how one little person can just make all your problems just go away and your just happy. He is growing so fast and learning so much. He has gotten so independent and his personality has officially come through. He is just like me in so many ways and I praise God for that. He is what the glue that holds me together when my world is falling apart and I couldnt be happier with how I am raising him.
It feels like I'm in the slow lane here lately. I'm not in school and work is so slow that I rarely work. I feel like I'm not doing what I should those areas of my life. I've always had a plan to be doing it all and being successful at it. Now it's like that plan has slowly faded and I'm just stuck going through the notions. I want a different job, but finding one these days is few inbetween. I wanted to start school this semester, but I ended up getting sick and missing the dead line for my application. I'm just waiting for a sign to tell me what to look for and where to start. I just hope it's soon because I'm honestly drowning!
It feels like I'm in the slow lane here lately. I'm not in school and work is so slow that I rarely work. I feel like I'm not doing what I should those areas of my life. I've always had a plan to be doing it all and being successful at it. Now it's like that plan has slowly faded and I'm just stuck going through the notions. I want a different job, but finding one these days is few inbetween. I wanted to start school this semester, but I ended up getting sick and missing the dead line for my application. I'm just waiting for a sign to tell me what to look for and where to start. I just hope it's soon because I'm honestly drowning!
Monday, August 15, 2011
Not a Baby Anymore :(
Christian turns two years old on Friday :( I'm so sad. We already had his party because we thought I would be coming off of my meds and I could be sick again. It was so cute seeing him get all excited for his party. When we sang happy birthday he just cheered and had a blast. It was a bitter sweet moment to experience. Now this weekend is a different story. Friday is his birthday and then Saturday Josh is wanting to throw a party with his family. It really makes me angry that he won't take off work on Friday night so we could do something as a family, but he will take off work so his family can have a party. Honestly right now him seeing Christian is a rough subject. It has become the type of experience to where I dread every Monday and Tuesday. Sad to say. Between completely bailing or bringing him home early because he can't get him to nap its just too stressful. Just ridiculous.
I'm all for Christian being involved with his dad considering that idk who my real dad is. But when the dad only cares about him those two days and never pulls through for him it really doesnt make him a great figure. Right?? I'm not just imagining things? I want whats best for Christian and a part time dad figure just doesn't cut it in my eyes. I just don't know where to go from here with this situation. I want him around, but not when he can't be a responsible parent and actually take care of him. Thats my dilema right now.
Besides all the baby daddy drama, Christian having his birthday this weekend is really got me excited. I can't wait! :)
I'm all for Christian being involved with his dad considering that idk who my real dad is. But when the dad only cares about him those two days and never pulls through for him it really doesnt make him a great figure. Right?? I'm not just imagining things? I want whats best for Christian and a part time dad figure just doesn't cut it in my eyes. I just don't know where to go from here with this situation. I want him around, but not when he can't be a responsible parent and actually take care of him. Thats my dilema right now.
Monday, August 1, 2011
Wow its been a while...
Well its been a while since I've blogged. Things have been so crazy here lately that I haven't had time like I'd like. Most recently I've been in and out of the hospital. I've been unofficially diagnosed with Still's disease. It's complicated to explain so just google it. lol I have good days and bad days. When I have a bad day it's mostly spent laying around trying not to move since it affects my joints. The worst part of this whole thing is that we are having Christian's birthday early because I'll be coming off of my medicine to see if I have another reaction or not. From what we understand if I do have one then I'll be on medicine for the rest of my life to control everything. So right now I'm just praying for some good news in some sort of way.
Christian will be turning two in a couple of weeks. It's so sad. :( My little baby is growing up so fast and he's learning so much everyday. He is so smart and picks up on things so quick. He amazes me everyday at what he does and says. Hopefully he keeps growing and learning like he does now. I love him SO much!
But thats really all for now. Nothing else has really been going on to blog about. My life is pretty boring since I can't work or really do anything. August 10th is when I go back to the doctor so I'm just keeping my fingers crossed!
Christian will be turning two in a couple of weeks. It's so sad. :( My little baby is growing up so fast and he's learning so much everyday. He is so smart and picks up on things so quick. He amazes me everyday at what he does and says. Hopefully he keeps growing and learning like he does now. I love him SO much!
But thats really all for now. Nothing else has really been going on to blog about. My life is pretty boring since I can't work or really do anything. August 10th is when I go back to the doctor so I'm just keeping my fingers crossed!
Thursday, June 23, 2011
People Just Don't Make Sense
So I work in a hospital. My floor is the OBG/PEDS floor. So I deal with all the drama of starting a family. It's mostly whos the daddy, whats the last name of the baby going to be, and what drugs was the mother taking. I'm just going to say that the girls that are having babies today are absolutely ridiculous! If your going to have a baby why on earth would you smoke weed or do meth?? If drugs are that more important then you shouldve just terminated the pregnancy while the baby had a chance. If your going to bring a child into the world at least make sure that they wont have withdrawls and you arent going to be investigated by dfacs. I mean come on. Its common sense people! When you know that the doctor does drug screens you and your still coming up possitive. That just blows my mind.
We also do surgery post op care. Some surgeries that are done on women like hysterectomys and tubals are considered enough for over the night care. Well some women that come up there are wimpy! This woman today had a complete break down because the doctor wouldnt prescribe her the amount of pain medicine she wanted. This women knew her meds and wanted a certain amount to where she wouldnt be able to feel anything! The least of her worries was her 9 month old son she had at home waiting on her. When someone comes up to our floor and causes so much of a problem to where we are tension free when they leave that says something isnt right. Also her husband wasnt acting like this was anything new.
So thats my rant for the day. Everyday when I work I experience the best and worst in people. Some break my heart and some make me happy to be working there. So in conclusion people these days are rude, inconsiderate of others, and just plain crazy. I was raised with manners and respect. I guess we are officially screwed when we become old and need the younger kids to take care of us. Fingers Crossed!
We also do surgery post op care. Some surgeries that are done on women like hysterectomys and tubals are considered enough for over the night care. Well some women that come up there are wimpy! This woman today had a complete break down because the doctor wouldnt prescribe her the amount of pain medicine she wanted. This women knew her meds and wanted a certain amount to where she wouldnt be able to feel anything! The least of her worries was her 9 month old son she had at home waiting on her. When someone comes up to our floor and causes so much of a problem to where we are tension free when they leave that says something isnt right. Also her husband wasnt acting like this was anything new.
So thats my rant for the day. Everyday when I work I experience the best and worst in people. Some break my heart and some make me happy to be working there. So in conclusion people these days are rude, inconsiderate of others, and just plain crazy. I was raised with manners and respect. I guess we are officially screwed when we become old and need the younger kids to take care of us. Fingers Crossed!
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